Stupid camping made me fatter. I gained 10 pounds this month! 10!!! Doesn't my body realize how hard it was to lose that 10 pounds before? Doesn't it realize that now I'm going to have to punish my body with less yummy treats and more running that makes me dizzy after? (Yeah, still haven't gone to the Dr. about that...) And yet my mind seems to think, "Oh, you've been on three vacations this month, so it's okay that you engorged yourself with lots of food that probably wasn't that great for you and then only ate stupid waffles every day that you weren't on vacation. It's okay, it won't affect you at all!" Bah! Stupid mind thinking that I could get away with it.
So here's the problem - I don't like trying to watch what I eat. I don't care what program you're on or what you do, unless you have gastric bypass surgery or you're taking some pill that makes you physically sick (either north or southward sickness) if you eat to much, you still have to watch what you eat. I find this to be very tedious and annoying. Granted, I don't really have a method for doing it, so this could be all of my problem. Also, I am a very compulsive eater. I enjoy snacking. Very rarely do I stop myself from snacking and think, "Hmm, I'm really not that hungry, maybe I should stop." or "Hey I'm making dinner soon, so I shouldn't eat anything now!". No, I usually just snack while cooking and then eat later as well. This, of course, is not good, but it's what I enjoy doing.
I've considered joining a program like Weight Watchers (that seems to be the one that I think I would hate the least), however I just don't have the money to put into it. People say "Oh it's so cheap, it's worth it in the end!", but I'm still broke, so that doesn't help. I've also considered just exercising more - but it's hard to get up the motivation to get outside to run, and I live in a house with 2 other families, and let's just say that I don't want to watch myself jiggle around the living room so I doubt that they would either. Or even if they don't mind, I do. I used to run on my treadmill pretty consistently, however since moving here (which has been a huge blessing, so don't get me wrong) there was no room for my beloved treadmill so we have other family storing it at their house until we have a permanent residence again. Then of course, there's those who go to the gym or to some sort of exercising class, but again, I CAN'T AFFORD IT. It bugs me when people go to the gym, pay out all this money for their memberships and personal trainers, and then complain about not paying bills. It should be the other way around. I have to suffer with not getting an incredibly toned body because I have to pay bills, and everyone else who is tight on money should have to suffer the same as me the way I see it.
The other issue is that ever since having Sophia and having my cycle come back (oh yes, I'm talking about my menstrual cycle on here!) I have gotten so incredibly bloated and huge every month before it comes. Like, ridiculously huge. It's annoying. I hate it. A lot. It's annoying enough to have that come every month, but when adding the hugeness that has become me to it and it just down right ticks me off.
Here is my dream, or my heaven, if you will. In my heaven, there will be no "fattening" foods. There will be the taste of fattening foods, oh yes. The delicious bacon, the cheese covered potatoes, the cakes, the ice creams, the breads - they will all be there. However, in my heaven I will develop a way for your body to have limitless energy - like a child - that will almost instantly burn off any bad substance that you have just engulfed. Also, there will be more hours in the day. Children will still go to sleep at the same time, they will simply sleep 2 hours longer in the night/morning so as to allow all of the parents to go to the heavenly gym where we all work out together and are happy and watching shows like Smallville and Vampire Diaries to make us happy while we exercise. And we won't need babysitters while we do this because everyone will be so happy from all that exercise and all of those endorphins swimming through our bodies that there will be no crime. That is my heaven.
All right, I think I'm done ranting now. Back to trying to get skinny again. O_o
5 comments:
I'm sorry to hear you struggling with this. finding time to work out is so hard for me! if you ever want to go jogging or even come to a class at my gym with me, i can get you a guest pass for the day!
I know how that goes. I tried for a "few" months until I got pregnant to lose my previous baby weight and all I lost was 13 pounds. The month before I found out I was pregnant, I gained it all back. Now I'm working on not gaining any more weight.
Good luck, and you look great! Just remember, you can use the excuse that you just had a baby up until she's 3!
Maybe it will help you... maybe it won't. I've found the cheapest thing that works for me is to not eat sugar or a lot of carbs. If I do have carbs they should be high in fiber. Simple enough once you start looking at packages. It can be a bit more expensive grocery wise though. I'm not doing this at the moment, but when I did I lost weight pretty fast without exercising. (I hate exercising!)
oh my gosh. me too, me too! i don't know what is going on with me. i can't seem to NOT eat. i will eat when i am full! seriously i have been gaining weight like crazy. i finally gave in and bought bigger clothes. it took a long time because i refused to accept i was getting bigger.
For the record though, pictures i've seen of you look great. you look amazing, really.
I think i just need to find my motivation.
Mindy, you're so funny! Unfortunatley I think most people can relate...definitely me! I wish I was one of the lucky people that could lose weight without exercise, but I have to exercise...probably because I love to eat so much that I have to work some of it off. Good luck with that! I'm in the same boat!
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