AMP

(Wrote this post back in January and forgot to post it - whoops!)

One of these days I'll post something other than stuff about my dumb skin and mental problems...in fact I'm due for a post about my kids here soon, ha ha! Anyway, I just wanted to get this down so I don't forget to do it later.

As far as my dumb skin goes - here's a quick summary of what I've dealt with throughout the years.

1. Cherry angioma removed from my left side ribs because it kept scraping off and bleeding in my clothes (I was really young, but I remember it). No atypical cells found (generally aren't in cherry's)
2. Large mole on my neck removed because it was bigger than a pencil eraser and ugly. No atypical cells found. Around 13 years old.
3. 23 years old - spot removed after giving birth to Sophia (I was already numb so figured what the heck), comes back showing atypical cells and had to get a 3 inch by 2 inch area cut out 6 weeks later (after 24th birthday)
4. 24 years old - while getting previous spot excised, had a full body check and found one more on left thigh (tiny little spot) that they did a punch excision on (think of a hole punch...in your skin). Atypical.
5. 24 years old - after having stitches removed, had 2 more spots on chest removed - both normal.
6. 26 years old (Jan-Feb) - Went in for yearly (after not going for a year due to lack of insurance) and had 3 biopsies done, 2 on left shoulder, 1 on right thigh. Right thigh = normal, both left shoulders = atyipical (mild). 3 weeks later had shoulder spots excised using punch excision.
7. 26 years old (October-ish) - 2 spots on ribs/chest removed (1 was a cherry angioma) - both came back normal.
8. 26-27 years old (Dec-Jan) - Spot on leg removed (one I had seen change over the summer). Came back severely atypical (diagnosed AMP), after 27th birthday in Jan had excision about 2 inch x 1 inch.

The results - 12 spots total removed in lifetime. 10 in the last 3 years, 5 of which were atypical and needed further removal of atypical cells. This most recent one (#8) was the one that shook me up the most. When they initially called me to tell me the results of the biopsy, I was already suspecting that it was atypical and would need more taken out. No real shock there. When I finally went in (the day after my birthday, yay) I asked if they would be doing a punch or a cut, and the nurse said that because it was an AMP (which I had never even heard of) that they may need to take out quite a bit. Just for reference sake, the original spot was less than 1/8 of an inch in diameter - just a tiny thing. The purple scar from the biopsy was about 3-4 times bigger already. When the doctor came in, he told me that this one was worse than the others and was basically one step down from melanoma. As such, he drew a football shape around the scar on my leg to show how much he would be taking out. Okay, just get it out, whatever. So the butcher got to work, sutured me up, and I went on my way. A week later (today) I had to go in and have a new bandage put back on because it had come off too early, and I asked what exactly AMP stood for since when I did a Google search it came up with nothing. It stands for Atypical Melanocytic Proliferation. The nurse explained that generally with skin biopsies they'll fall into one of 5 categories: Normal, Mild Atypical, Moderate Atypical, Severe Atypical, and Melanoma. Then she explained that AMP is basically the step in between Severe and Melanoma. It has almost all of the same traits as melanoma, without being cancerous, and generally will turn into melanoma. Great. Anyway, now I have a nice big scar on my leg and I've been checking all of my moles obsessively trying to make sure I don't have any more that get that bad. Gah, it's frustrating having this pasty white wanna-be-cancerous skin of mine.

Time and Time Again!

This has probably been the LONGEST hiatus I've taken from my blog since I started it! There was no real reason for not blogging, per se, but man! Managing two kids is a LOT LOT LOT of work!!! Add Jon either being at work, school, or studying all of the time and it's even more so! To all of the people out there with more than two kids - I salute you. No really - HOW DO YOU DO IT??? I suppose the question would just be that you adapt and figure it out as you go, but right now even the thought of any more children puts me into a week long migraine. Ugh.

Anyway, I feel like I lost a lot of my steam with blogging, so I guess that may have been a reason why I just haven't done it in a while. The thing is, though, is that I love to talk about useless crap on here, even if no one reads it. It's a sort of therapy for me, ha ha! Especially since my last post about my PMDD (that was kind of a really long downer, sorry!) I will say that the PMDD situation is well under control and I'm happily medicated to the point that I'm level and not completely off my hinges insane for 2 weeks out of every month. Yay Prozac! (Yes, I'm one of "those" moms - but at least I'm not going crazy and crying every time I do anything!) With that now under control (again, yay for Prozac) life has continued on and we have all figured out a pattern or rhythm for our day to day life. The kids are getting insanely big (insert cliché "where did the time go") and are growing more and more every day. I know that some people truly seem to fear their children getting older, and while in some ways I can understand and agree with that, in others I just LOVE each faze that they go through!

Blake turned 1 on May 22 (insert cliché "My little baby is all grown up!") and started walking soon after. Because he's so tall, this has been a bit of a problem for everyone. For one thing, he keeps smacking his head on things because he doesn't realize how tall he is. He has mostly overcome this by now, but every now and then he forgets to duck when trying to go under the kitchen table. Also, he just falls down a lot, and the taller you are the harder you fall! For another thing, he can already reach up onto the kitchen table and the computer desk, and it's only a matter of time before he can reach on to the countertops. THAT'S what terrifies me about him growing up - the stage where they don't understand the word "No" or "Stop" yet and think that everything is their play thing. His favorite things to try and grab are soda cans (just tonight he spilled Mountain Dew all over his front while trying to sneak away with Jon's drink), paper of any kind, the keyboard and mouse, and any type of electronic device that is near you or that you are using (cell phone, iPod, remote, Kindle, etc.) He is still fantastic at climbing stairs, but the one time he tried to go down we were at a friend's house and we didn't know he had gone up the stairs...so you can imagine how that ended. Luckily, our friends had very soft plush carpeted stairs, so Blake walked away unscathed. He can open out doors now, so that's been fun, ugh. Oh, and he climbed out of his crib twice before I finally thought "Hmm, I should probably lower the crib to the lowest setting". Yeah...sometimes my brain doesn't work for a minute...or ever. Anyway, he's safe now, but I know it won't be too long before he figures out how to climb out regardless of the height of the mattress. Oh, and he has stayed in about the 75th percentile for height and weight.

Sophia - oh man. This girl will be the death of me. She is pure D-R-A-M-A. I finally got her to stop talking about her boobs all the time, (as well as mine or anyone else's that she saw) so that's good, but she's always finding new things to freak me out. Tonight she was telling Daddy how Blake has a big peep, and she has a little peep. I'm not talking about the candy marshmallow things. That and when she starts getting all sassy with me, she'll wiggle her bum while she walks and stick her hip way out to the side when she stops. Not even sure where she got that from! She's always talking about her outfits, and how she needs to put on some pink lips, and her imaginary friend is Prince Charming and she takes him everywhere. She is so strong willed - I love it but at the same time it sure makes being a parent more difficult! That and she just says the most random things, like when she tried to tell me that some random older lady in Wal-Mart was my special grandma and that I needed to go and give her a hug because she misses me and loves me so much. Um...yeah I didn't hug the stranger, and Sophie threw a fit. That was a really minor example.

The most exciting thing at this point for our family though is the fact that Jon only has 21 or 22 days left of classes and then he's in rotations!!!!! He's in his LAST LAST LAST year of pharmacy school, and because of the accelerated program this is his last quarter of classes and then August through May will just be his advanced rotations, and then he graduates on May 22, 2014! I'm so excited I can hardly think about it or my brain will explode! We still need to figure out where we're going to live afterword (which will entirely depend on where he's offered jobs) and that keeps me up at nights, but all we can really do is start applying (next month - we start applying NEXT FREAKING MONTH!!!) and see what offers he gets. It's like applying for school all over again...only bigger. :-\ Anyway, he has done really well in school and has made the Dean's List several times. I'm so proud of him and all he's done! Plus while working as a pharmacy intern at the same time - it's amazing that he's able to do so much so well!

Anyway, I just wanted to touch base and let you all know that I'm still alive, I haven't completely forgotten about the blog, and I'm not in a padded room or anything. Life is good, my family is GREAT, and even with the stresses of daily life we couldn't be happier. :)

Peace out!

M.