Break in the Monotony

*Note: To protect people, names have been changed. (I got this idea from someone and it's really more to be fun than to protect anyone!) ;)

So, because I feel like I'm going through a routine lately of waking up, cleaning, working, then sleeping and have nothing else that I can really do for myself for fun, I decided to play a part in my boss' fireside play production. We had our first rehearsal tonight, and I came an hour late. Whoops! I called to verify with him that rehearsal was at 7pm, but he didn't call me back, so I planned on 7. On my way there, around 6:50pm, Mad Greek FINALLY calls me back and says, "Yeah, rehearsal started at 6." I felt awful! But he told me to come anyway so we could rehearse the choir part of the production. When I got there, the choir had left, and the actors were in the lobby eating cookies. Apparently he wanted to run through a bunch of parts again, so I was okay. I only have 3 lines in the thing, and I'm playing a high school girl (I guess I'll have to hide my wedding ring!), but that's okay. The play itself is beautiful. I went to the first performance and I cried my eyes out! When Mad Greek offered to have me in it, I jumped at the opportunity. I thought I would just be in the choir, but he even me a small part which I am so grateful for.

After the rehearsal was over, everyone was just talking and stuff, so I went straight for the piano. I haven't played the piano since at least Christmas - I was going CRAZY! It felt so good to have my fingers gliding over the keys again. It's strange how now that I can't play the piano everyday like I did growing up, I've forgotten so much. At the same time though, every time I sit down it's still so familiar to my fingers. I always surprise myself when I sit down and play a song that I memorized when I was 14, and always so disappointing when I try to play a song that I used to play with my eyes closed, and now I can only remember a few bars. I can't wait until I can have my own piano again.

I think I miss the piano most when I'm stressed out. There's nothing like getting so frustrated you want to punch something, and instead playing the fastest, hardest song you know, followed by a soft a simple ballad, then something grand with a lot of big chords in it. I used to play until the tendinitis in my left shoulder would burn so bad that I would actually lean to the left trying to ease it, and the carpal tunnel in both my wrists would throb to the point that I would use as little wrist and arm movement as possible, just playing with my very fingertips, which would be numb. Maybe it's a little masochistic, but there really is something exciting about playing until you physically can't anymore. You stop thinking and just let your fingers do the work. 2-3 hours later, you realize that your arms are burning with pain and you're completely calmed down.

Some of my most spiritual insights have come while playing the piano. Usually while playing hymns. I really start to think about the music and the words and what thoughts must have been thought to come up with the combination. Such questions like, when you meet someone you've never seen before in your life, but you swear you know them - is it something more than, "I just have one of those faces?" Then there's my favorite to ponder, "Why is silence so loud?" If you look through the Book of Mormon and Bible, you'll notice that God actually speaks to mankind at least 3 or 4 times himself. When he does, very few people actually recognize it - most think that it's Thunder, or Wind, or just a buzzing sound. It's happened when Christ has spoken as well. So you get thinking - when sitting in complete silence, why do we turn on the radio, or the TV, or call a friend? Why do we fear silence so much? I honestly think that the reason silence is so loud and deafening to us is because there is so much going on that we can't see. Those who are close to the veil can a lot of times pick out voices and actually hear people. Most of us, however, the most we get is the insanely loud silence that seems to fill every corner of our body to the point of driving us completely mad, until we drown the "silence" with other sounds.

Anyway, yeah, I really miss my piano. I don't really have very many thoughts like I used to about things like that, but there's still the questions that have come to mind in the past that I still like to ponder. Anyway, yeah I'm really excited about this fireside production - I finally feel like there's something that I can do that's just for me, not Jon and not for both of us, but for me. Not that I don't love spending time with Jon, I just really feel like I haven't been able to really do something for myself since getting married, it's usually just for Jon or for the both of us. Jon's been bugging me to get a hobby forever too, so this, I feel, is my little escape.

Well, I've written enough. Until next time! :)

M.