Life: Fast and Furious

Oh my goodness it's been a long time since I posted! I really hope this blog doesn't end up like my journal, where every few years I open it and tell it that "Hey! I'm married now!" or "Hey! We bought a house, 3 years later got pregnant, had a baby, had the house bought by UDOT, and now it's turning into a road!" Yeah, that's pretty much how I have to sum up my journal entries because of the long gaps. Anyway, I'm going to try to do better. :)

I'm afraid that this post won't have any pictures because I'm just too darn lazy to put them on here. I wish that blogger had an option to upload more than 5 pictures at a time, because I really do have a lot of them, but I hate waiting and then organizing and then having to write everything later. I'd rather write now, and eventually sometime down the road post a picture. Who knows, I may get really ambitious and post 1 picture when I'm done ranting! :) However it will stay at the top of the post so that I don't have to move it anywhere. :)

So life is insane - no other way to put it. After Jon was accepted to school I was all gung ho about getting ready to move to Arizona, but unfortunately there really was nothing I could do at that time, so I got all excited and then life fell flat for a bit. We bought a broken 2009 Ford Edge and a broken 2000 Audi TT and set to fixing them so we could sell them later and hopefully be able to buy a house. This took up every spare minute we had.

And then there was March. The last 2 weeks in March were a little crazy - I made a super cute Tutu and wings for Sophie to wear to her cousin Emily's 1st birthday party - turned out awesome and the girls were so cute! Immediately following the party we raced up to Cache Valley to drop her off at my Mom's house, stayed for dinner, and drove home around midnight. Then at 7AM the next morning we hurried and packed up all of our stuff (much faster than packing for Sophie, I must say!) and started driving. And we drove. And drove. And drove. Then, we stopped for lunch. And then we drove a bunch more. You get the idea. It was a 10 hour drive to Phoenix, but the drive down really wasn't that bad. We got there Sunday night and relaxed in the hotel room, and then starting Monday morning we looked at a bunch of rental properties in the Glendale/Peoria areas while we waited to see if we were preapproved for a home loan. Later that day we were (Yay!) and so Tuesday was spent golfing in the morning and then looking at possible houses to buy. Oh the thought of owning my own house again...makes me drool. We found out what areas we liked and found a house that we LOVED! Unfortunately we couldn't make an offer on it yet, because our loan was only approved with the expectation that we could put 20% down. Not a problem, these homes are all under $100K, so as soon as we sold the cars we had been working on we'd be set! So we got everything set with the realtor (whom I LOVE! Her name is Kim Kohlhase if anyone is moving to that area you can google her name and you'll find her - she's amazing!) and went back to the hotel to rest and get ready to leave in the morning. The plan was to go to bed early so we could leave early, but wouldn't ya know it, I GOT FOOD POISONING!!! Yeah, I spent the night running into the bathroom at least once an hour for some painful and miserable puking. I'd try to take a drink of water, and I would throw it up an hour later. So I'd try eating an ice cube, and I'd still puke it up. It was aweful. This finally ended around 4AM, so I got about 3 hours of sleep before we had to leave, but I was still sick sick sick. Needless to say, the drive back was not as nice.

Since coming home we finished both of the cars and was able to sell the Audi, but still can't find a buyer for the Ford. Which sucks, because that's the one that's worth $26,000. It's way nice and there's nothing wrong with it, but if someone can afford buying a car for $23,000 (which is what we have it listed for) then they generally don't buy from KSL. So that is my frustration right now. We need to move down to AZ at the end of next month, so if we want to buy a house, we need to sell the car in the next week, maybe 2. If we don't sell it, then we'll keep it (which I really don't mind that part!) and just rent for the next three years. (NOTE: we've done the calculations and we'll save 10's of thousands of dollars by buying, so you can see why we'd want to do that) I just hate situations where I don't know the outcome.

In other news - Sophia is still as adorable as ever. :) We had an Easter party here with the Hunter family (I planned it) and she loved the egg hunt! She didn't get very much candy, because she's a lot slower than the bigger kids, but it didn't matter because she still had a blast finding the eggs and candy and putting them in her basket. It was so much fun! I waited a LONG time (okay, not long for some, but long for me!) to be able to enjoy that, and I definitely did. :)

Well, I think this will be all for now. When I get a few minutes to spare I'll be posting some pictures and such, and hopefully Jon, Sophie and I will be getting family pictures soon so I can post those as well. Now, I'm off to do a mountain of laundry that's been taunting me for a while, wish me luck!

And look, I even posted a picture for you. :)

Puzzles

So I feel like lately our lives have been a big puzzle that we've been scrambling to put together. We got the house, and then found out that the house was really going to be a road, so 4 years later had to rearrange the puzzle to find out what was next. Then we had Sophia during all of that, which made our puzzle more complicated, but much more fun at the same time. Then there was school. This was a hard piece of the puzzle that we've been trying to put together for almost 5 years, and we both thought it would be in Laramie WY. Wrong, it was still a school, but Glendale AZ instead (this was a good change!) so we had to rearrange the puzzle again. Now as we're getting ready for May, I have no idea what the next part of our puzzle is. Do we buy a house/townhouse in Arizona? Do we rent a house/townhouse? Do we just get an apartment? After owning our own home for 4+ years, I really really would like to own something again. However, this would be more difficult for us because of how busy Jon will be with school. Renting would be the easier option, but from what we've found online it would cost a LOT more to rent something smaller than what we could buy! And if we buy, we could sell it back once we're done with school and at least be able to pay off some of our student loans. Then there's the possibility that we won't be able to sell it. (Sigh) It's just a lot to think about.

Anyway, I guess the point in this is that my life is very puzzling right now, and while I am SOOOO excited for Jon to start Pharmacy school I'm just starting to get very stressed about it all. There's more I'm stressed about, but because I feel silly stressing about it in my head, I'm definitely not going to put it in writing. :) Stress stress stress, puzzle puzzle puzzle...I wish life were more like a word find....

Not Just a Light, but a Spotlight at the End of the Tunnel!

Since I met Jon he's been saying that he'll be going to pharmacy school in "the next year or two". Well, it's been 5 years, and we're FINALLY there! After spending countless hours researching schools, studying for and taking the PCAT (twice!), submitting applications, submitting the supplemental applications (that was mostly all me, and it sucked!), paying the application fees, and going to some interviews, we finally have hope. Earlier this month (as in we left the day after Sophia's birthday party at about 5AM) we went to Glendale Arizona so Jon could interview with Midwestern University. The whole time we were there (which was just under 24 hours) I fell in love with the place and thought, "yep, I could live here". Then that same week, Jon went to Omaha Nebraska to interview at Creighton University, and when he told me all of the wonderful things about that school I thought, "Hmm, maybe Omaha would be better!"

So we started weighing our options - just in case we were accepted to one of them - and were honestly torn. They both had so many great aspects about them! Then last Friday (about 2 weeks after those interviews), we got an email saying that Jon had been accepted to one of them! I cried I was so happy! Then we had to decide if this was the right choice. Well, we've been praying hard, and we both have the same feelings about it, so as of today we payed out deposit and Jon is officially a student at Midwestern University's Pharmacy School class of 2014!

I'm so proud of him and how hard he's worked to get to this point! Every year there were new requirements and new classes he had to take, and now we're finally in! And the best part, is that this is A) An accelerated school so he'll only be in school for 3 years instead of 4 and B) It starts this next summer instead of fall! So classes will start in June and we'll be moving to Arizona probably right when classes start! I'm so excited to finally start this next chapter in our lives and to be out on our own again! (Not that I don't like living in the Hunter Hotel, but I much prefer just having the three of us to deal with!) Congrats Jon! I love you so much and you'll do great in Pharmacy school!!!

Confessions of a Crazy Woman

I'm stressed, and it's causing my anxiety to come back in full force. I haven't had to fight my anxiety for a long time - not since I was engaged! I haven't been on medication in 4 years, and now suddenly I feel the symptoms creeping up on my almost daily. They've been coming back stronger and stronger over the last month and a half or so. It sucks, and it's scary. If anyone has ever had a panic or anxiety attack before, you know how scary they can be. I've been able to train myself to get out of them and to calm myself down, but it's still terrifying to feel your self control slipping away as your muscles contract, your breathing speeds up like it can't keep up, you start to feel numb and nauseas and shaky - it's just scary. Just the physical aspects alone make you feel like you want to hide in a dark place until it goes away, but at the same time you know that by going into a dark place to hide it will only make it worse. You feel crazy and like you have no control, and your mind starts to go a mile a minute and makes it so you can't concentrate on any one thing - just a mass collage of everything and nothing.

This is how I feel just about every day lately. Sometimes it's just for a few minutes, or a very dim feeling that doesn't really affect me, and other days (like today) I'm struggling to hold it together at all times. I've been feeling like this since breakfast. I tried to sleep, watch TV, craft, clean, excercise - nothing has helped. I'm hoping that venting it out in writing will help me. I'm nauseas to the point that I don't want to eat, but I force myself to anyway because by not eating it's worse. I'm dizzy and have a hard time focusing my eyes. I feel twitchy and like if I try to hold something I'll just drop it. I feel like I've been crying uncontrollably for hours, you know that exhausted, drained, there's nothing left inside of you feeling, but I haven't cried at all (nor do I really have a reason to cry, which makes this even more frustrating for me). To just curl up in a ball and let the anxiety take over seems like such a good idea - like if I just let it run it's course it will be over and I can go about my day - but, as I've learned from experience, it won't. Besides, I can't just leave Sophia running around so I can go curl up in a ball and hyperventilate for a few hours, that's just bad parenting. (Sigh) And the most frustrating thing of all is that there is not one incident or issue that's causing this. It's just stress overall. I mean, my last full blown anxiety attack was when the hood of my car flipped up into my windshield while I was driving 65 mph. That makes sense though. Right now though, there's been no catastrophic event to trigger this - it's just stress. When Jon comes home it will be better - he can always keep me calm when I start to feel crazy like this.

Is there a point to this post? No. Just wanting to vent and thought that maybe talking about how my anxiety is affecting me would help. I hate feeling like this.

(For the record, no this is not post-partem. I had this long before I even thought of kids. At least if it were post-partem, I would have a reason for this....but I don't. I'm just a little unhinged I guess.)

1 Year Baby!

Sophia turned 1 on November 30!!! I can't believe it's gone by so fast, but I've loved every minute of it! She is such a sweetheart and even when she throws her little temper tantrums and shakes her fists or covers her face and yells, she still makes me smile every day. :)

An old co-worker of mine, Amy, was nice enough to take some 1 year old pictures for us! I don't have them all yet (her brother came home from his mission right after we did the pictures, so I told her to just get them to me whenever and to spend time with her brother), but above you can see one of them. So cute! You can find her pictures on Facebook here (unless they're blocked for privacy, in which case I'm sorry.) I'm checking with her to see if she has a website for her pictures. Anyway, before I forget here are Sophia's numbers for 1:

Height: 29 inches

Weight: 21.2 lbs

Wow she's a big girl! I know I'm kindof a pansy, but she hurts my arms to carry around for more than a minute or two! I just love her to pieces though. Anyway, here's a list of things about her at 12 months:

• Walking/running like CRAZY!!
• 7 Teeth
• Fits most 18 month clothes (12 months are usually on the small side)
• Rolls are disappearing (sad for mommy!)
• Loves to play chase and Hide-and-go-seek with daddy
• Loves walking in circles
• Started giving big cheesey smiles (where she scrunches her nose and squints her eyes - so cute!)
• Loves babies and baby dolls
• Started biting with her kisses (oops!)
• Can blow kisses
• Says Momma, Dadda/Daddy, and Bampa
• Says "Pat-Pat-Pat" with her Little Einsteins shows
• Loves reading, singing, dancing, taking baths and brushing her hair (what a girl!)
• Climbing
• Figuring out how things like blocks work
• Plays pretty well with others - us being in nursery is helping with this
• Loves to show me things
• Got her first ear infection (owie!)
• Got her new forward facing carseat

I had a list made up on the day she turned 1, but I didn't save it and the computer restarted, so yeah, this is what I can remember. So, now on to her birthday! (Warning: From here on out there are a lot of pictures - I'll try to keep the explanations brief, but we all know how I like to talk/type)

Her birthday cake on her birthay (we got Olive Garden to Go with the chocolate mousse cake, yummy!)

Nom-Nom-Nom

Oh please, no more pictures tonight!

Christmas Calendar! (She still hasn't put it together that the treats are inside of it because she's too fascinated with the pictures!)

Climbing. (Sigh)

Now we had her birthday party on December 4th (Saturday after her birthday) because Jon wasn't able to get Tuesday off. Anyway, I started preparations way in advance, but didn't plan on how long my dream cake would take. See, we had a Rainbow Bright themed party (yes, I realize that she is now practically the spokesperson for Gay Rights, but she was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid, and since Sophia won't remember this party anyway, I decided to do a throwback to my childhood.) I started making the cupcakes at about 9 or 9:30 pm (it had been a long day), and this is when I had the last of them in the oven (NOT decorated or even close to finished)

Yes, it was a long night, but I must say that with the help of adrenaline from being excited about the party and the help of my dear friend, Diet Coke (yes, I'm drinking it again, I know...) we made it through the night. It took 3 boxes of cake mix to make this cake!

I finally got done with the decorating and cleanup around 3:30AM and fell asleep around 4AM. It took a long time, but I think it turned out pretty good! I'm just glad I got the 3 lb tub of frosting and then just colored it because that was one less thing I had to make!

The day of Sophia's party was also the day we were decorating David and Rosanna's house for Christmas! Here's (almost) all of the grandkids having fun climbing!

And my sisters-in-law and I being...um...sexy? O_o

Me making Sophia's tutu while on the phone (again, it was a busy day!)

Then it was time for Sophia's party! My family all got to come down for it, except my dad who was working and Julie's husband, Phil, who was also working.

Showing off her new tutu! (I finished it just after Julie got there!)

Trying to sneak a peek at the presents

Great Grandma and Grandpa Nielsen!

Daddy, Jonnyboy, Jalynn and Cayson

Friends! Sharece (I've known forever!) and Diana (I used to work with!)

Sophia had fun playing with Great Grandpa Nielsen, he helped her reach all of the balloons!

Getting ready to eat!

The presents!

(*That is an ORIGINAL Rainbow Brite doll that I got for free! The thing is older than me!)

Jason and Sharece!

Ha ha, so I invited everyone to wear lots of colors (because of the theme) and Katie, my very best friend ever, went above and beyond! She made the party so much better just by being there, but dressing up like Rainbow Brite was just amazing of her!

(*For those who don't know, Sophia's middle name, Kate, is after Katie!)

Well then Sophia decided that she wanted presents. I was originally going to do cake first, but, well, Sophie ripped into some of the presents so we went with that route. Poor kid had had such a long day though that she kept opening a present and then laying down! Sometimes she would hug the present and lay on top of it, other times she would just lay down. I felt so bad, but it was so cute and she was a trooper!

(Hee hee, I found a fun bow! Too bad it didn't stay on the dress!)

Then came, THE CAKE!!! We added gumdrops all around (they're supposed to be the twinks that live in Rainbow land) and put the kids gift bags behind, and I think it just made the whole presentation better. Thanks Rosanna and Ryan for helping me make it look this great!

Ha ha, so dainty!

After the cake a lot of people went home (they also had kids that needed to get to bed!) and the rest of us sat and chatted while the kids all played with the toys. It was so much fun to catch up, and so nice to sit and relax for a minute!

All in all I think the party was a success! The food I had didn't turn out the best, Costco's cheese all lumped together and two of the salads didn't work out, but hey! Everything else was so great that I didn't even care! Thanks to all who came and to all who helped make my little girl's day that much more special! And Happy Birthday to my Big Baby Girl!